Who, What, When and Why?
by LoveToTheCucumber
Summary: *OneShot for SlSheartsRKO* Randy is out partying with the guys, when he suddenly blacks out... He wakes up later, not knowing where he is or how she got there?


**Who, What, When and Why?**

**The story is written for the lovely SLSheartsRKO, who wanted a story about Randy getting kidnapped... Don't have to high expectations, 'cause it's really weird xD Well, here it comes, enjoy^^**

"Let's have another round!" Randy exclaimed, snapping his fingers to get the waiter's attention.

Randy and a few other superstars had gone to a bar, after getting off from work. They were all having a great time. Some sat at the table with Randy, drinking their brains out, while Cody and Ted were busy singing karaoke. All their friends cheered them, just so they would keep on singing. They knew the other guests hated Ted and Cody's singing and that was the only reason why they urged them to proceed. Just to annoy the other guests… But the best part was that Cody and Ted didn't even know that they were making a fool out of themselves.

The waiter placed new drinks in front of everyone. John whispered something in Jericho's ear, before grabbing his drink and smiling towards Ted and Cody. Randy didn't care what they were whispering about, at the time, he just wanted to get wasted.

"Look at those two freaks," John laughed, raising his glass to touch glasses with the others. Randy looked over his shoulder, to look at Cody and Ted, who looked like two drunk idiots with an arm around each other's shoulder, while singing "I Will Survive," by Gloria Gaynor.

Randy shook his head, before turning his attention back to the others.

"Cheers," Randy said, before gulping down his drink. He wrinkled up his nose and stuck his tongue out, the drink didn't taste like it used to.

"What's wrong, buddy? Too strong for you?" John asked, holding his laughter back. Jericho didn't even try, he just cracked.

"Orton needs a bitch drink! Waiter, we need lollie water for the pansy!" Chris cried out. John shut his eyes and burst into a hysterical laughter. He hit his head 3 times down the table, before receiving a slap to the back of his head. He immediately stopped laughing and looked up at Randy.

"What was that for?" John complained and pouted, while rubbing the back of his head. Randy didn't answer, he just shrugged his shoulder. The whole thing made Chris laugh even harder.

Mike returned from the bathroom, totally confused by the chaos around the table.

"I was away for like 5 minutes. What happened?" he asked, taking the seat beside Randy.

"Randy was… And then… John… Joke… Oh my God!" Chris couldn't speak proper, because of the laughing. He only managed to tell Mike about half of the story. Mike turned to Randy and looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Do I wanna know?" he asked. Randy just shook his head.

"It's stupid… I don't even know why he is laughing," Randy put on a small smile and so did Mike.

"I always thought Chris had a bad sense of humor," Randy nodded in agreement.

Ted and Cody stopped singing. The song was over. They were just about to get down from the stage, when all the superstars at the table turned towards them and started clapping, whistling and cheering them.

"Damn, Ted, those guys can't get enough of us!" Cody laughed happily, while waving at his buddies at the table.

"Should we sing one last song for them?" Ted asked, already knowing the answer.

"Of course! But I wanna choose the song this time!"

"No, you chose two songs in a row! I wanna pick the last!" Ted already knew which song he wanted to sing. He didn't want to lose the battle, but neither did Cody and he was really stubborn, when it came to getting it his way.

"Give me that!" Cody screamed, snatching the microphone right out of Ted's hands.

"Hey?" Ted grabbed the mic and began to pull it towards himself. They started a never ending tug a war.

Randy rolled his eyes at them and turned his head back to its original position. He looked down at his hands, which was playing with an empty glass.

Chris wasn't laughing anymore. John had stopped pouting. Mike tried to have a long distance flirt with a hot waitress… And Ted and Cody were still fighting.

"I wanna sing Robbie Williams!" Cody shouted angrily, tugging the mic.

"Well, I wanna sing Rammstein!" Ted protested, tugging harder.

"What? You can't even speak German!" Cody shot Ted a deadly gaze.

"Shut up and give me the mic!"

Randy stood up from his seat and sighed loudly. John looked up at him instantly.

"Is something wrong?" he asked and stood up as well, but Randy motioned him to sit back down.

"No, I just have to take a piss."

"Oh, okay."

Randy pushed his chair under the table, before going to the restroom.

He unzipped his pants and let out his magic wand. He threw his head back and closed his eyes, as he let the yellow liquid stream out of him.

He wasn't drunk. Maybe just a little, but not as much as he had hoped for. He was getting bored and tired, he just wanted to go home and sleep.

The wand stopped pouring out its magic dust and Randy looked down at it and shook it a few times, before locking it back inside its cage.

He looked himself in the mirror, while washing his hands.

"You're getting old," he whispered and looked down for a second, to turn off the water, but when he looked up again, to look closer at his flaws, he discovered that his vision was getting blurry. He frowned and leaned closer to the mirror. Nothing changed. The blurriness just got worse.

He laid a hand on his forehead, he was feeling dizzy.

His eyes shut and he fell to the floor.

Randy woke up, still feeling kind of dizzy.

"What happened?" he opened his eyes, just to find out that everything was black: "What the f…"

"Hello Randy," an unusual deep voice growled. Randy would have jumped 10 feet in the air, if he hadn't been tied to a chair.

"Who… who's there?" he asked nervously and shrank together.

"Don't you remember anything?" Randy turned his head in different directions, he couldn't figure out where the voice came from or how close it was.

"No… I-I don't," he stammered frightened and felt how his body started to shake.

"Of course you don't… I drugged you!" the voice shouted, followed by an evil laughter. There was something about this voice. It was too deep to be a human's voice… But how could it be?

"Wh… Why did you… do that? What do… do do… you waaant?" Randy had never been so afraid in his entire life. What did this psycho want from him… Maybe it was a sick fan? Maybe not? Maybe it was a serial killer! Randy had made himself even more scared.

"I wanna play!" the man shouted, sounding vicious.

"A game?" Randy cried out. He was about to piss his pants.

"… A game? What… No! Do you think I'm some kind of bad jigsaw copy?" the man was getting aggressive. Randy hesitated answering him.

"… Maybe?"

"Oh God damn it… I knew I should have said something else," it was weird, he didn't have the slightest hint of anger in his voice anymore. Randy was confused, he didn't know if he should be scared or not.

He pulled himself together.

"Why am I here?"

"Would you shut up for a minute? I can't find my notepad!" Randy heard how the man rummaged around in something. He was mumbling, but it wasn't clear enough for Randy to hear what he was saying.

"Here it was!" the man suddenly exclaimed, nearly giving Randy a heart attack: "No wait… that was my shopping list," he continued searching for his notepad.

Randy took a deep breath and shook his head. The man had to be a retard or something close to that.

"Screw that, I can't find it," the man stated after a couple of minutes.

"O…Okay?" Randy really didn't know what to say or do anymore. It wasn't as scary to get kidnapped as he thought it would be. Again, the man was a retard. Didn't know what he was doing.

The man sighed loudly.

"What's the point of this, when I don't have my notepad with all the questions on," the man sounded sad.

"So I'm free to go?" Randy immediately regretted saying that. He was in no position to say something like that. He was tied to a chair, with something covering his eyes. In other words - bad timing.  
But the answer surprised him.

"Yeah, you're free to go," Randy felt a warm breath hit his neck. Someone was behind him, loosening the ropes that held him back.

The ropes felt to the floor and Randy stood up. He wasn't sure, if he wanted to remove the cloth that covered his eyes… Maybe it was a trick?

"Come on, just take it off," Randy froze immediately... The voice had changed?

And it sounded… Familiar?

Randy slowly removed the cloth and opened his eyes.

"JOHN?" he shouted surprised.

"Sorry, the thing was supposed to be funny… At least for us."

"Who is us? And it wasn't funny at all, John, I was scared to death!" Now Randy was the angry one.

"Come on, it was just a joke?"

"I don't care! I thought I was going to die! And who is the others?" Randy hesitated to take a moment to think things through. John didn't say anything, because he could see that there was about to come more: "Did… Did you really drug me?" Randy's eyes widened and he looked like he was about to explode.

"Yeah, I slipped something into your drink, when you were busy looking at Cody and Ted?" John sounded like it wasn't such a big deal.

"What? Are you… Are you crazy? You never mix alcohol with any kind of drugs… NEVER!" Randy stamped his foot and curled his hands into a fist. His knuckles turned white immediately.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa… Calm down, Randy… It was just for fun," John said, taking his hands up in front of him and taking a step back.

"Do I look like I'm having fun?" Randy's refused to take his eyes off of John. He stared him directly in the eyes and didn't allow him to look the other way.

"I'm sorry, Chris and I just thought…" Randy cut him off.

"You and Chris? So that was what you two were whispering about! I swear, I'm gonna kill both of you!"

"Calm down," John said, walking to a table, which stood in the corner of the room. He picked up a glass with an orange gold liquid in it and took a sip. Randy sighed and shook his head. Chris was probably watching him from somewhere and he was definitely laughing. And the angrier Randy got, the more Chris would laugh. So he took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment.

He opened his eyes again and took a look around the room. There were huge speakers and cameras hanging around the room and a computer and a microphone on the floor. Randy got eye contact with John.

"So that was how you made that spooky voice?" he asked, pointing at the computer and microphone. John nodded as an answer.

There were silent for a couple of minutes, before Randy spoke again.

"What happened to Mike, Cody and Ted?" he sent John a questioning look.

"Well, Mike took off with the waitress he was eye flirting with and Ted and Cody got kicked out of the bar for making a racket. But they went along with me and Chris, when we brought you here."

"Oh… So, they are looking at us right now?" Randy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Unless they fell asleep."

Chris, Ted and Cody were sitting in another room, watching the computer screen.

"Oh God… Those two are boring," Ted said yawning.

"I wish John hadn't fucked up the whole thing. I'm sure Randy would have pissed his pants eventually," Chris said, placing his feet on the table and crossing his legs. Both Ted and Chris looked over at Cody. He was pouting like a little baby. They couldn't help but chuckle.

"Screw you. I'm still mad that I didn't get to sing one last song… It's your entire fault, Ted!" Cody shouted.

"Oh yeah? You were screaming louder than me, you're the reason why they kicked us out!"

They kept on yelling at each other, until Chris suddenly jumped up from his chair. They both looked up at him.

"Not me, them!" he screamed, pointing at the screen. Both Ted and Cody's jaws dropped open as they turned their attention back to the screen, seeing John and Randy all over each other.

"Wha… What are they doing?" Cody shouted, closing his eyes, he just couldn't watch.

"I don't know, but I sure wasn't expecting anything like this!" Chris was about to panic.

Randy broke the kiss. He smiled at John, who was stunned and didn't know what to do.

"I… I thought we were going to pretend to kiss… Not actually… kiss," he stuttered in a low tone, so Chris, Cody and Ted couldn't hear what they were talking about.

"I wanted it to look real," Randy whispered and laughed quietly.

"You're a good kisser," John sent Randy a pleased look and Randy raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, so you enjoyed it?"

"Every second of it."

"Come here," Randy grabbed the back of John's neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss.

Now who fooled who?

**I know, it's weird and it makes no sense, but hopefully you like it xD!**


End file.
